Linkin Park’s “Fighting Myself”

To “fight yourself” is the process of struggling with your own thoughts, emotions, or behaviors. You are essentially having an internal conflict, where you’re grappling with a number of things ranging from opposing or conflicting feelings to desires.

When you fight yourself, this can also represent the challenge of overcoming your personal weaknesses and self-destructive behaviors. All in all, this involves the battle you have within yourself for the sole purpose of achieving to achieve a particular personal growth or self-improvement.

The Lyrics of “Fighting Myself”

The aforementioned conflict is exactly what the narrators (Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington) is dealing with in this song.

Shinoda talks about how sometimes the unhealthy thoughts in his head speak very loudly. He vividly describes the internal struggles and challenges he often has with these unwanted thoughts. These intrusive thoughts are so overwhelming to the point that they compound his feelings of “pain and doubt”.

In the midst of this hell, Shinoda tries his best to suppress these emotions by behaving as though he isn’t affected by them. However, this only compounds the hellish turmoil raging within him. And apparently this leads to him taking actions that leave him with regrets.

I fought myself and I lost

Bennington (who is also going through a similar struggles) sings about how this predicament leads to him engaging in negative behaviors and actions that result in him “falling from grace”. You are said to have fallen from grace when you experience a significant loss in your reputation or respect. So for example, if in the past people used to have great respect for you but these same people no longer respect you, you are said to have fallen from grace.

In the case of Bennington, the unhealthy behaviors of his caused everything positive he had built to “come apart”. So put simply, his internal conflict prevented him from making good decisions – a problem that has now apparently caused his destruction. This might explain why he says he lost the battle fighting with himself. He is unable to defeat the constant negative emotions and thoughts that fill his mind to the brim.

“Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could’ve changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose”

“I can’t run with this weight on my back
I can’t see ’cause I’m focused on the past”

This is the question that the narrator is asking? He wants to run. He wants to carry on with his life and live to the fullest but the sheer weight of these negative thoughts constantly haunting him prevent him from doing so.

Furthermore, due to his fixation on the negative things from his past, he is currently blinded. He is sadly unable to focus positively on the present and future. Simply put, his inability to let go of his negative past is hindering from experiencing personal growth. Also, he is unable to live in and enjoy the present moment.

So at this point, he is dealing with so much mental and emotional stress to the point where life has become too much to bear, leading to a feeling of being suffocated. He wants to be able to breathe again and escape from the captivity of the extreme negative emotions of anger and depression rapidly growing like a wild fire within him.

“I can’t breathe, I need to break free
From the anger that is constantly inside of me”

Date of Release

“Fighting Myself” was officially released by Linkin Park on 24th March, 2023 as the second single from the 20th-anniversary version of their second studio album titled “Meteora”. This anniversary reissue contains multiple songs that were initially recorded during the creation of “Meteora”. One such songs is “Lost” (which was also officially released in early 2023).

Credits

The writing and production of “Fighting Myself” was entirely handled by the members of Linkin Park, which at that time consisted of the following:

• Don Gilmore
• Mike Shinoda
• Brad Delson
• Mr. Hahn
• Dave Farrell
• Rob Bourdon